The Competitive Friend

I fucking hate you.

Yes, we should try our best in life and live it to the fullest, but how proud of yourself can you be when you do a happy dance in front of me for killing me one time in brawl.

You’re better than me at a game you play 24 fucking 7 and I’ve only first attempted to play tonight?  Really, who would have guessed that, I sure didn’t because I’m stupid as shit, and I must be to play a game with you.

Oh look I finally beat you…but then you loudly exclaim you still killed more people.

Just relax and play the game, yes winning is nice, I know that, this is why I introduced you to World of Warcraft, now I never even see you anymore, checkmate.

Peeing on The Side of The Toilet Bowl

SideYou know what, Fuck it, I pee on the side of the toilet bowl and I’m proud to let everyone in the world know that I do.

If you don’t pee on the side of the toilet bowl then you are just being loud for no reason, especially in the middle of the night, do I look like I live under a waterfall, no because if I did I would have my head all the way back, full of water, looking all sexy like… the point is, I live in Ohio.

OK, so most people pee in the water, but just because something’s popular does not make it the best way to do something, hell splashback is a bitch and no one wants water mixed with urine on their legs, especial if you are wearing shorts, or worse, nothing at all, pubic area, I’m so sorry when I used the popular method.

If you really cared about the toiletvironment(environment + Toilet) then you would piss on the porcelain and knock off the duke residue left by rude people.

To the women, I’m sorry, you can’t really do this, unless you have great aim and in that case you are very talented and I would like to shake your hand…after to wash it of course.